The Millennial Resume: I Spent $20 On Powerball Tickets…

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The Powerball hit $535 million yesterday, and after two weeks of nonstop job applications and interviews, I decided to spend $20 bucks (of my already dwindling cash supply) on some lottery tickets.

Many would say this was a stupid idea. Yeah, you are more likely to be struck by lightning, bit by a shark, or smacked in the head by a single piece of hail falling from the sky, but I have always been on the optimistic team when it comes to winning the lottery.

The immensely minimal odds just don’t factor into my decision because SOMEBODY WILL WIN EVENTUALLY.

So why the heck not me!?

Maybe I should have invested that 20 bucks instead, but I will pretty much do anything at this point to give up the madness of finding a job, a process that has somehow turned into a two-year ordeal.

The confidence bruising, ego decimating, soul-crushing act of applying for jobs for two years straight has gotten to me people, and last night I had a tiny glimmer of hope that if I won that $535 million I could finally stop the madness!

But in all honesty, even if I had all that money safely invested, I would still have a bruised ego over the fact that I couldn’t get a job for two years.

This leads me to my next point. Jobs are a lot like the lottery.

Jobs are a lot like the lottery.

With so many people in the world, you better believe that a ton of people all apply to the same jobs. I’m talking hundreds of people.

This is great for the employer in that they are able to choose the best of the best for the position, but for job seekers like myself with little connections, probably not the most impressive resume, and horrible job interviewing skills, my chances are particularly slim compared to all of the other applicants.

But, just as my stance on the lottery edged towards the side of optimism, so does my stance on jobs.

Someone has to get hired!

So why not me!?

Maybe I am really just trying to believe in myself here, but hey all of those self-help articles I have read over the last two years have told me that I need to believe in myself because if I don’t then nobody will. But I tell you what, I have really believed in myself at times, and here I am still applying…

Well folks, I was really banking on that half a billion smackaroos to end the misery of job applications, but in reality I would never be satisfied with my life if I never worked again… I’m 24 years old, what would I even do for the next 50 years???

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